“All Quiet on the Western Front”

I don’t want to write too much about Mr. Trump – other people are doing an excellent job of that elsewhere – but I would like to comment on his alleged favorite book, Im Westen nichts Neues by Erich Maria Remarque, known to us as All Quiet on the Western Front. Now, has he actually read this book, or is it just a title he remembers from high school? I don’t know. But I hope he has read it and that he remembers this key passage:

Kropp, on the other hand, is a thinker. He suggests that a declaration of war should be like a kind of fair, with entry tickets and music like they have at bullfights. And then the ministers and generals of both countries would have to get in the arena in their swimming trunks and go at each other with cudgels.  Whoever was left standing, their country would win. That would be simpler and better than here, where the wrong people are doing the fighting. (translation mine)

(Kropp dagegen ist ein Denker. Er schlägt vor, eine Kriegserklärung solle eine Art Volksfest werden mit Eintrittskarten und Musik wie bei Stiergefechten. Dann müßten in der Arena die Minister und Generäle der beiden Länder in Badehosen, mit Knüppeln bewaffnet, aufeinander losgehen. Wer übrigbliebe, dessen Land hätte gesiegt. Das wäre einfacher und besser als hier, wo die falschen Leute sich bekämpfen.)

Should our government see fit to embark on a new military adventure during the Trump administration, I look forward to seeing it arranged like this. It’ll be fun for a change! Can we declare war on Canada? How much would you pay to see Trump the wrestling aficionado and heartthrob/pugilist Justin “The Shiny Pony” Trudeau  duke it out?

If indeed this is his favorite book and he has actually read it, there’s one thing we can count on: our new president would never, ever fling thousands of nice young men into some exploding hell-hole to send a message, or score points in the new Great Game, or achieve a worthy goal that could be achieved by diplomacy. Right?